Lauren

Lauren is an Intuitive Soul Coach. She helps women align their mind, body, and soul so they can embrace their power, uncover their own unique magic, and live life confidently, intuitively, and with ease. This transformative and magical work bridges the power of cultivating a deeper relationship with self, connecting with your intuition (your own powerful internal compass), and utilizing the power of your mind to heal your past, shift your present, and transform your future.

Let’s go back in time and take a walk down memory lane. What has your career looked like to date?

In college, I always had this fire within me and instinctively knew that I was here to do important work in the world. I had no idea what that was going to look like. I had no idea what it was supposed to look like, I just knew that was the reason I was here.

So, I graduated college and moved into so-called ‘adult life’ feeling really confident and yet I had no idea what I was stepping into. I’d applied for a handful of jobs and the one I ended up taking was at a company in Charlotte, North Carolina. 

Soon after I started the job, I quickly realized that I had no idea what I’d signed up for. In fact, the job they’d been marketing painted a totally different picture to what I was actually going to be doing every single day. And what I was doing every single day was working in a call center.  

I remember thinking, “What have I gotten myself into?” Fast forward six weeks and I was excelling at work. I was number one on the team in terms of sales, yet outside of work was a totally different story. I would go home and hide in my closet so that my roommate wouldn’t hear me, and I would call my mom crying. I hated my life. I was so miserable. Going into work felt like dragging a hundred-pound bag of rocks behind me. It felt impossible to do. And I realized very quickly that I was unwilling to stay in a position that felt like it was draining so much life and energy out of me. So, I quit my first job after only six weeks… 

After that I went to work at Starbucks as a barista, which was one of the most incredible times of my life. It’s still, to this day, one of my favorite jobs ever. As an extrovert, the high pace, energy and connection with other humans was amazing. 

So, I left my first “big girl” job post-college after only six weeks to work at Starbucks. I felt so much happier and yet, I felt ashamed. I had gone to school and college, and I had these expectations for myself to step into this big-girl job with benefits and great pay, and there I was barely able to get by working at Starbucks. I would buy groceries from my tip money. I didn’t even have enough money to drive home to see my parents. I loved my job. My soul was on fire again. I felt alive again, and yet there was that tug to find something “more”.

So after only a few months, I left my job at Starbucks for an internship with a local company, which was paving the way for me to move into a full-time position. And just as soon as the company offered me the full-time position, I decided to move across the country to Denver, Colorado. So, there I was, six months post-college and looking for my fourth job. 

Credit: Chelsea Laine Francis

In Denver I took my first corporate job, doing HR recruiting for a software development firm. It was an awesome company with a fast-paced start-up culture, and monthly happy hours. Honestly, I thought … “I’ve made it! I finally found the job!” But a few months in, I felt the energy of my soul draining out and the fire within me was slowly dying. 

I was at home one evening after work when I realized I couldn’t stay in that job much longer. I’m an extrovert. So, I would normally come home after a full day of work and want to talk all night. This night was different. I literally had no words. I couldn’t speak. I was thinking “I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to read. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to do anything. I feel like I’m slowly dying.” I felt so empty. I just sat outside in our backyard staring at nothing. I felt nothing and it felt scary. I felt so defeated.

I knew something had to change. I knew hopping to yet another job wouldn’t fix things. So, I started getting curious and asked myself “What are you passionate about? Come on, Lauren. You’re a year and a half into ‘adult life’ now. This is job four. Now what, you’re going to move on to job five?” I started doing some serious soul-searching. What do I love? What do I want to do? What makes me feel alive?

I’d always loved business. I minored in entrepreneurship in college and had always said I would start a business one day. It was a really strong internal knowing. I just always thought it’d be much later in my life when I’d start a business. So, in the midst of the soul-searching, I found myself starting my first business. This is where my career trajectory took a turn and I entered the wild world of entrepreneurship.

I quit the corporate job and took on several jobs to pay the bills while getting the business up and running. I was working at a local bakery and nannying. I was working more than I ever had and yet, I felt so alive!! 

To fast forward, I ended up running my first business for about three years before feeling my soul tugging me in a new direction. So, I closed that business and started my second. 

I launched my podcast, The Real Female Entrepreneur (TRFE). I spent every week having conversations with women running businesses of all sizes, from women who were just starting out, to women who were running multi-million dollar empires. I spent the next few years running and growing the podcast along with an online membership community for women business owners. After about three years, I felt that same soul tug start again, pulling me deeper into the work I felt called to do. I felt a tug to lean further into my own personal evolution and to share it with the world, which led me to the work that I’m doing today, as an Intuitive Soul Coach.

I know that it’s really terrifying to shift, or change, or leave yet another job, or leave the first job, and try something new. I’ve experienced all of that, many times over. So it’s really important to me that I share my journey because I didn’t just wind up here magically. If I’m honest, some days, it feels that way. However, it was a really messy (and meaningful) journey of finding my way to work that leaves me feeling so alive and excited every day.

Credit: Ashton Kelley Photography

When people are unhappy or unfulfilled in their job, they often find it really easy to list everything they don’t like about work or what they don’t want in their next role, but it can be just as hard to detail what it is they do want. This results in people feeling stuck and unsure how to change their circumstances, because they don’t know what they’re moving towards. How did you motivate yourself to make a change all those times you felt unhappy in your role?

I am definitely an optimist, through and through. I always need to believe that life has the capacity for greatness. And by greatness, I don’t necessarily mean an external version of success. I mean the internal version, where life feels so good. That doesn’t mean that every day will be filled with rainbows and sunshine, but life has the capacity for us to feel really good most of the time.

Life is short. I often imagine my final moments of this life, and it’s a really powerful experience. I don’t want to be 80 years old, or even 40 years old, and look back on my life and think, “Wow, that really sucked.” The probability of me arriving at that place if I wasn’t willing to change then was really high, and the only person who could change that fate was me. 

I was unwilling to settle in that place. I imagine my final moments in this life a lot. It’s, hands down, the most powerful driver for me. And when I imagine taking my final breaths, I want to look back and think, “What a ride! I did it! I risked it. It was scary, but it was so good.” 

So, if I were to whittle it down, I found myself asking over and over again: “Life is so short. Am I okay settling right here? And what regrets will I have if I do choose to settle here?” 

Getting to the answer has involved unraveling the external measurements of success. It meant walking away from the impressive-looking corporate job and all its benefits. It was about choosing to measure the success of my life more so by how good I felt, or how much joy I was experiencing daily. By how much growth I saw myself leaning into. 

What were you hearing from your support network around you – your friends, your husband, your family – as you moved from one job to another, and started one business after another? 

Honestly, I was so lucky because I had so much support around me. I don’t remember a single conversation where my parents or my friends or my husband questioned what I was doing. I was very clear on what I wanted and I was so deeply supported by those around me to go after that. And I can understand that not everyone has that support. I feel really lucky. 

Having said that, I also carried around an inner critic within me. I think a lot of us do. While I didn’t have external voices criticizing me, there was a lot going on internally. I’d think to myself “What are you doing? What are you thinking? Grow up. Life doesn’t get to feel good. Life sucks. Deal with it.”

In spite of that, the internal optimist in me would come alive. And I would choose to believe, again and again, that I don’t have to settle. That life gets to feel good. That I deserve to feel good.

What fears or challenges do you face in the work you do today?

I face challenges every day, multiple times a day, and without them I’d have no need for this human experience anymore, because challenges are part of growth. Yet there’s so much grief in growth; of leaning into the discomfort. 

I intentionally define what I want to create and what I want to experience; getting clear on the future I want to consciously create for myself. And then I think, what’s getting in the way? Because there is something in the way, otherwise I would be there already, right? Otherwise, I’d be feeling what I want to feel. I’d have what I want to have. I’d be who I want to be. 

Then I have to be really honest with myself about what’s getting in the way, which is often the most uncomfortable part. And then I do the work to release it. What’s different now is that I actually have the tools that work really powerfully to release the thing that’s getting in my way of going after what I want. 

One of my biggest challenges that I’m working on right now, is realizing that so much of the action that I’ve taken in the past has been from this place of what I call ‘desperate action’ versus ‘inspired action’. So much action we take is from this place of desperate action, where we’re acting from a place of doubt or insecurity or fear or scarcity. It might sound like this: there’s not going to be enough money. I’m not good enough. I can’t do this. She’s better. What if it doesn’t work out? Or what if it’s not good enough? What if they don’t want to buy what I’m selling? 

And instead, choosing to take inspired action comes from this place of inner knowing, from intuition and inner confidence, where we know our inherent worth and don’t need to try to be anyone else. It feels really good, and when you take inspired action, there’s not this need to oversell what you’re doing to anybody, not even yourself.

Practising that is still a challenge. When I first tuned into this, it was so incredibly difficult to even slow down enough to recognize if I was doing something from a place of desperation and fear or scarcity, or whether I was truly choosing to do something because it felt right for me. And if I had had that awareness a decade ago, my career journey would’ve looked really different, because I made a lot of career choices out of desperation.

How have you have evolved as a result of your career shifts?

I feel far more confident in shifting and changing when I feel my gut tugging me in a new direction – I call that a gut tug. So my most recent shift away from TRFE and into my coaching and personal brand was way easier than leaving that first job, because back then my ego was so attached to what that decision meant about me; what it meant about me being a failure or not being good enough. 

Even in those first few jobs, I felt myself thinking “Here you go again” with an eye roll, whereas now I feel excitement and joy when a gut tug comes along, rather than shame and disappointment. Now I’m like, “Good on you! You listen, Lauren. You know that it’s time to shift and change. And it takes so much courage and awareness to do that.” There’s a sense of pride and self-compassion when I feel a tug to shift now that I didn’t feel years ago. 

I think I also have a lot more compassion for myself now. I now see that because I have shifted so much, I don’t look at things as failures or setbacks. I see them as stepping stones. And it’s cool because now, in hindsight, I get to look back over the past decade and be like, “Oh wow. I learned this from that job and I learned this from that experience. And I wouldn’t be able to share this story today or teach this lesson if I hadn’t had those experiences.” There’s a beautiful Steve Jobs quote related to this. He said:

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

When I can’t see what’s ahead of me, I still feel so much fear and uncertainty leaning into that, yet there’s also this level of excitement that I now feel because I’m at a place where there’s enough time behind me that I can connect the dots and think, “Wow, that was really cool.” And so even though I may feel scared now, I know that Lauren in 10 years from now is going to look back and be grateful for the journey.

When people feel stuck and don’t know what work they’d rather be doing, career change experts advise to get curious and explore your interests. What other advice would you offer somebody who is in a position that you were once in, where they’re dragging that bag of rocks on their back as they go to work every day, yet they don’t know where to start with making a change?

It’s interesting because I don’t know if ‘follow your curiosity’ is always the best advice. Because the thing I was originally leaning into before starting that first business, which was going to culinary school, would have been a really bad decision for me! Thank God I didn’t become a chef. Because, while I was passionate about food, that was not at all the work that would have brought me joy. 

My advice is to build momentum. If we’re constantly telling ourselves, ‘This sucks, I hate my life, I don’t like what I’m doing’ then we’re only going to manifest more of those same feelings. And no matter how much you’re tapping into things that you like, you’re still on that path, right? It doesn’t feel good. Whereas if we lean more into the path of ‘That actually felt really good and this brought me joy’, we gain momentum. And I think that’s a really easy way to tap into our truth, our intuition and that inner guidance that’s turned on for all of us. Some of us may feel more tapped into it and connected to it than others, but we all have the capacity for it.

Whether you hate your job or love your job, here’s the truth: you’re deserving of joy. You deserve to experience joy every single day. And what would change if every single day you did one thing that brought you joy? Stop worrying about what the next job is or what you’re supposed to do, or what your purpose is. Instead, give yourself permission to feel joy every day for the next 30 days. Your life will change, whether you experience joy from going for a walk every day, or taking a bath, having conversations with friends… When you start building that momentum of joy, you’re naturally going to start to realign with yourself, which will lead you down a path that seems magical and take you in the direction of what feels best to you. I would invite you to research less, to look at job ads less, and instead, pursue joy more and see where that takes you.

You once shared a conversation you had with your husband about your career history. You said, “I’m so happy I kept going even when it didn’t make sense. I’m so glad I resigned from yet another job and tried yet another new thing even when I didn’t know why, even when I didn’t understand.” What else can you share that would be helpful for the person reading this story and thinking, “Am I ever going to get out of this situation?” 

Josh and I have been laughing about how we so often try to plan out our entire lives. And I think that most people reading this will relate to the fact that no matter how much we try to plan out our lives, it rarely ever goes the way we want, right? And yet, how many times do we find ourselves in hindsight looking back, connecting the dots and thinking, “Thank God that didn’t work out, because this turned out way better than I could have ever imagined.”

We try to micromanage our days, work, relationships, and even our future to create a sense of control over our lives, and yet if you’ve ever had a micromanager, you’ll know that that is the quickest way to suck the creativity and best work out of someone. And the same is true of life. When we try to micromanage and control our life, we suck the magic and flow out of it. 

Uncertainty can be a terrifying feeling, but as it crops up so often in life we can build our resilience to better cope with it and practice taking greater comfort in the unknown. In fact, I invite you to lean into that uncertainty. My rule of thumb is this: if something feels terrifying, trust that intuition and walk away. But if it feels scary AF and a little exciting, lean in. That’s the recipe for magic. 

And just because you don’t know what’s next or just because you feel anxious and uncomfortable, that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong thing. It just means that it’s new. And when we do anything new, our bodies and minds can freak out, and move into fight or flight. But that doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong, or you’re making a terrible decision; it’s something new. And if there’s both excitement and a little bit of fear, trust in that.

Finally, what are you excited about in the coming weeks or months? 

I am most excited about this new level of growth and expansion that I’m leaning into for my work and business. By the time this conversation goes out, I’ll have launched something new that I’m really excited about, but which has also been challenging in a new kind of way. On the one hand, it’s felt like one of the easiest things I have ever done. On the other hand, my mind has had a massive issue with that, because it’s telling me, “This should be hard. It shouldn’t feel this fun or exciting because business and work don’t get to feel this fun and exciting.” 

In response I’ve been leaning into that uncertainty; trusting myself and the process. That growth is what I’m most excited about as there’s a lot of discomfort for me to move through, so I get excited for that challenge because I know that in three months from now, I’m going to feel so much bigger and freer. This new creation feels a little scary and a little exciting – it’s that magic formula…


To learn more about Lauren, visit her website and YouTube channel, and follow her on Instagram.